It’s been a month since D-day.. It feels like a year already.. Looking at it, I’m way too far from the 2 year earmark that most of the betrayed spouses wrote about. I still read a lot, I talked to DH a lot.. I won’t lie about it, there are still days that make me think twice why I stayed, but then, I overcome those with positive thoughts.
I read a lot of books and they helped me a lot in terms of the way I think and see things. One favorite book of mine is Liam Naden’s “Save and Heal your marriage – without marriage counseling”. I so badly needed this book because I am from a country where affairs is not something to be discussed openly, counselor or not. Though I believe that counseling could help, there are not so many counselors here whom my husband and I could totally trust to help us. So, when I read this book, I was so glad. There are a lot of things written in the book that totally opened a new perspective for me. I would quote a favorite line in that book that I’m repeating to myself a lot of times lately, it says “I am responsible for my life, for my life situation, and I alone have the power to change it.”
Given that thought, I now begin to feel that I have hope on fixing my broken marriage. I can get back my fairy tale marriage with my prince charming, my DH. I am positive that I do love the man, with all that he is and with all that we have. I can leave my worries behind for now, and find my peace today because I look in myself and know what I want. I want a happy life, I choose to be happy, I choose to have a happy family and a healthy relationship with my wayward spouse. Even if he was a wayward, I still love him to the moon and back, and that is something that I can not explain except that perhaps this is what it means to love unconditionally.