The clock striked 12

January 24, 2014.  That was my Cinderella-moment.  It’s the day that the clock stoke 12, and the magic ends.  The truth about my fantasy being exposed by OW.  She called me using another mobile.  I was at work.

It’s the worst day of my life.  I thought I could die a thousand times.  My worst fear about my dearest husband just became a reality.  SHE finally called me up to admit everything.  It was her who confessed and told me the whole story.  Why did it have to be her?  I died, or at least I wanted to.  I thought my heart stopped beating.

SHE told me about the baby as well.  Confirming it was his.  The very core of my being slowly wants to stop existing.  Time stood still for me.  As if prolonging the pain, extending the agony.  The whole world just stopped for a while, like a slow motion movie, looking at a glass slowly shattering to pieces.  I swear I could almost hear my heart breaking.  I suddenly went physically numb.  From head to toes.

The first thing that I had to ask was how could they do this to me?  What have I ever done to deserve this?  Then, I had to ask HIM.  I had to hear it from HIM.  It’s as if everything would turn out fine if he only say so.  I was wrong, so wrong.  It did not become okay.  I have heard the most horrible truth I’ve dreaded to hear…  My dearest husband had an affair, and not only that, there’s a child borne out of it.

He still couldn’t tell me everything, I had to pry the details from him.  I don’t know, he says.  I’m not sure he would answer.  It makes me irritated to hear those phrases.  I don’t even know why I wanted to hear the sordid details, but I want to hear it from him.  I want to hear him say it, if only to feel that he had been honest about it for at least once.

It’s a messy affair.  SHE already have 2 kids, and a husband who’s having an affair.  How could she even think of having another woman suffer the same fate as she is going thru?  What kind of a person would wish that pain to another person?  SHE chose to tell it to me, for some unknown reason, she broke the silence and promise that they made to each other.  The promise of keeping everything a secret until the day they die.  Bury it to the grave, they say.

The clock stroked 12 for me.  My Cinderella marriage now going back to reality.  It’s not the fairy tale with a happily ever after yet for me.  The story had just began.  The agony of being the damsel in distress, not only because of a witch, but because of her prince charming turning back into a frog.  A crystal shoe, which is full of questions, left behind.  The journey begins here.  The ever difficult journey of acceptance… I wonder who my fairy Godmother is going to be.  The clock stroked 12 for me…


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